I feel the fear, my heart is hammering in my body and all I've managed to eat is a banana. I feel sick, my head is pounding and it feels like I'm about to sit the worst exam in the world.
Today is the day everything and nothing changes. If it's bad then all stations go and we have to deal with the hand we've been dealt. If it's good news I'd like to think I will learn from in and in 6 months time still remember this day and how lucky I am, not to moan at the kids and just appreciate my life. But I know that I won't, it's easy to forget the scares and carry on, not learning one jot of what you should.
My husbands face belies the terror my heart feels. If this goes tits up (literally) where does that leave us all? This has been the longest two weeks wait and part of me wants to prolong it further just to try and keep things normal.
So many questions are floating around and I'm more worried about the stupid bits like what will hubby feed the kids today, hope I'm back at a reasonable time today, like I say, the really non important stuff right now.
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